she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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