How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
