It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
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He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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