She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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