I am in a vortex of obligation.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Such a big mess for such a small penis
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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