In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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