I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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