I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
