well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
