i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize