i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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