My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize