i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
