I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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