So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
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I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.