she was so not down for the gang bang
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
what day is it and did you see me today?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
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i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.