That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
