I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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