standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.