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• (510): View more from California

  So drunk, too bad you don't want this

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• (352): View more from Florida

  the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.

  (407): View more from Florida

  given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was

  (352): View more from Florida

  i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  and next time when you feel me up, do it right

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  When in doubt always reply with bacon.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar

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• (438): View more from Quebec

  I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis

  (1-438): View more from Quebec

  He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.

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