I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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