She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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