Soap is not a condiment
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
