I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize