I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
