Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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