No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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