I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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