Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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