yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
