i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
