so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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