All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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