Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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