she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
