I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
