So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
bring money and cleavage
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
