how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
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Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
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Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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