Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
