There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
