Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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