Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
