so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
