it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
