Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
