Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize