NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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