We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
