dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
