Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize