Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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