bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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