Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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