i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
