Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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