This dress was meant to end up on your floor
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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