I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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