i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
