Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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