I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize