So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
