its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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